Dad Assist!

I can recall the day we found out we were going to have a child. My wife, who was big into Crossfit at the time, would get up every morning at 4:30 in the morning to attend a 5:30 am class. On this particular morning, she gave the 4:30 alarm a look of such annoyance that I felt the need to make a joke in hopes of lightening the stare between her and the alarm clock. "Well, look who has their ATG (a** to the ground) finally." We laughed. She still did not move from the bed, stating she would take a rest day. We are talking about a woman who would often seek out the local Crossfit facilities while on vacation, not to miss a beat. In a melodic tone, I uttered, "Ooooooh, you pregnant." We smiled and said our goodbyes as I was heading into the office.

However, all I could think about at work was that "what if ." For some odd reason, the song Who Can I Run To by Xscape was in my head all day. As I'm looking back on it now, the song's first few lines resonated with me at the time. 'As I stand here contemplating, what lies ahead of me, I have strong determination, and I'm not afraid of change.' However, I was afraid, not scared of fatherhood, but concerned with what if I'm not as good of a dad that I hoped to be. Who could I run to for help in fatherhood? Luckily logic kicked in and slapped me in the back of the head. Calm down; you guys haven't taken a pregnancy test.

About two weeks later, on a Thursday, I had come home from work and started dinner. At the time, Thursdays were show day for me. My buddy, Mike, and I co-hosted a podcast. So, I would cook, review notes for the show, and perform kitchen karaoke while my wife was making her commute home. I recall asking if she would like a glass of wine once she entered the apartment. She declined and stated I have some news to tell you after I change and we eat. My thoughts went to a promotion for her and more wine for myself.

As we sat down for dinner, I blurted out promotion or what. We laughed! She then began to ask me about the topics of the show. I replied bringing the funny, which is always my response. She handed me the pregnancy test results and said, "This is one of those rare moments that you were correct." I'm not sure if I can capture the excitement on my face in words; I had the smile of the Kool-Aid man with the enthusiasm of Tom Cruise jumping off of Oprah's couch.

During my wife's pregnancy, I was able to aid in an incredible pre-birth journey, which left me feeling joyful, shocked, confused, concerned, irritated, and hollow at times. I couldn't recognize the effects of hormones during the pregnancy. I would get defensive when I felt attacked instead of listening and asking informational questions. I viewed it as my wife's character was changing, and I didn't receive any emails on upcoming character changes. As you may imagine, I struggled with the comprehension of it all.

I had to step back and imagine that I was out with friends having a fantastic time reminiscing when suddenly experiencing tiny poking at my arms, and as I look down, a spider was doing the cupid shuffle. I immediately would have said something like "Sugar Honey Ice Tea" while shaking my arm vigorously to dislodge Mr. or Mrs. dancing spider. Now imagine that feeling for up to 40 plus weeks on top of morning sickness, fatigue, heartburn, sudden back pains, and more.

I had to ask myself what my role was here. Then, like Ed Cota throwing the ball off the backboard for a Vince Carter windmill dunk, it hit me, assist.

Dads, our role of being an amazing dad starts before our child is born; giving encouragement and emotional support are indisputable advantages for expecting moms. Pregnancy alone has its tolls: weight fluctuations, dehydration, gestational diabetes, and more added stressors. Something as simple as holding hands or elevating her feet when watching a movie together will display a towering sign of support in letting her know you're in this together.

On a grander scale, setting up childbirth classes, attending doctor's visits, performing household duties such as cooking, cleaning, and yard work are great ways of showing physical support and getting that sweet dad assist.

Being an amazing dad also means recognizing when we're getting mentally exhausted. Taking some time to hit the gym, nap, walking, cooking, visiting friends, or setting up a meeting with your BODv member are fantastic ways to re-energize.